Remembering Lily
by Gmariam
Summary: A lonely figure walks down the street, auburn hair trailing behind her in the wind. She is young, but her face is lined with sadness, as if searching for something she has lost. A young man stops and stares at the woman, hardly daring to believe it might be her. He blinks, just to see if she will disappear from his life once more, like she did over a year ago. She doesn't.
1. Part One

Story Notes:  
This short story will be a series of scenes from James and Lily's relationship rather than a continuous narrative of their life after Hogwarts. It has nothing to do with any of my other James/Lily stories.

* * *

Part One

A lonely figure walks down the street, long auburn hair trailing behind her in the blustery wind. She pulls a red wool coat snug around her, gloved hands tucked into pockets as she wanders the sidewalk, glancing up at the shop fronts. She is young, but her face is lined with sadness, as if searching for something she has lost. Her green eyes long for answers.

Across the way a young man stops and stares at the woman in the red coat, hardly daring to believe it might be her. And yet as she turns and walks back up the street, he knows it is, and his heart stops beating for a moment. He blinks, just to see if she will disappear from his life once more, like she did over a year ago.

She doesn't, and he hurries across the road toward her, his heart now racing.

"James!" his friend calls from behind him. "Where are you going? We're meeting the others in five minutes."

"You go ahead!" James shouts back. "I'll meet you there when I can." It is his nineteenth birthday, and he is heading to Diagon Alley to celebrate, but that can wait. The vision in front of him is far more important. He thought she had been lost forever.

"Lily?" he asks, coming up beside the woman and touching her gently on the arm. She is glancing around, obviously looking for something or someone.

"Yes?" she says, turning toward him. She smiles, and her green eyes light up. "Do I know you?"

His heart breaks in two. "It's me, James. James Potter. You don't remember me?"

"No, but I wish I did," she says, holding out her hand as if meeting him for the first time. "I'm Lily, Lily Evans—though apparently you already know that." He nods, completely stunned. She smiles again, as if used to putting people at ease. "It's all right. I was in an accident, and apparently I can't remember the last ten years."

"What?" James murmurs. "You've lost your…but…what about…" He is unable to continue, too shocked to understand.

"How did we know each other?" Lily asks, a friendly, open look on her face, so unlike the scowls he was used to.

"We went to school together," James replies, shaking away his confusion. "For seven years. At Hogwarts."

"Hogwarts?" Lily asks, frowning. "I've never heard of it. Are you sure? My parents told me I went to Glenbridge before the accident."

"To Glenbridge?" James repeats. "But that's a Muggle school!"

Lily raises her eyebrows, green eyes twinkling merrily. "I don't know what a _Muggle_school is, but Glenbridge is a perfectly good school. My sister went there, too."

"'Course she did, Petunia isn't a witch," James says without thinking. Lily frowns again, but shrugs away her confusion.

"No, she's not a witch," Lily agrees, "though she is a bit bitter at times."

"So you've said," James says. "You didn't talk about her much, but I remember you saying you didn't get along."

"Then you remember more than me. But I suppose it's true, especially since the accident." Lily sighs. "I'm afraid my parents had to give up a lot for me, so it's possible she was a bit upset. But then, she married not long after and left the house. I've hardly seen her since then."

"You really don't anyone or anything about Hogwarts?" James asks. "Not Gryffindor, McGonagall, Hogsmeade, Quidditch or N.E.W.T.s?" He simply cannot comprehend how much she has lost.

Lily laughs, and that is just like he remembers. "No, and it sounds like you're talking another language, James." She links her arm in his, and he glances down in surprise. "What, weren't we friends at school—at Hogwarts?" she asks a bit coyly.

"Er, a bit," he stammers. "At least, by the time you were Head Girl, I think you were starting to warm up to me."

"I was Head Girl?" she exclaims. "Merlin, how exciting! And were you Head Boy?"

"Yes," he says, a small hope fluttering in his chest. "Are you remembering?"

"No, just guessing," she smiles.

"But you said 'Merlin'—that's a wizarding word. Muggles don't swear like that."

Lily laughs again. "First witches, now wizards? And what's a Muggle?"

"Well, er…" James stutters to a stop, not sure where to begin. He had thought she was dead, not wandering around Muggle London without any memory of her magical life. He had given up hope, moved on to fight for the Order, pledging to bring down the Death Eaters he assumed had killed her. Only here she was, much worse than dead.

"Tell you what—I'll buy you a cup of coffee, and you can explain it to me," she offers.

"You're asking me out?" James exclaims. "But you would never go out with me at Hogwarts." He slips once again, unintentionally revealing something he probably shouldn't share quite yet.

"I can't imagine why," Lily laughs. "You seem like a decent bloke. You'll have to tell me why I said no."

And finally James finds his footing. "I couldn't figure it out either," he says with a grin. "I'm glad I've got another chance."

"That depends on what you have to tell me about myself," Lily replies. "Where should we go?"

"I know exactly where to go, and I'm buying." James takes her hand and leads her across the street toward the Leaky Cauldron.

"You're taking me to a record shop for coffee?" Lily asks lightly, though James thinks he hears something else in her voice. It might be fear, it might be hope; whatever it is, he feels sad for her, that she doesn't even remember the Leaky Cauldron.

"No," he says. "I'm taking you to a pub called the Leaky Cauldron. It's right next door, only most people can't see it."

"Why?" she asks almost instantly.

"Because they don't want to," he says. "And with a little bit of magic, they never do."

"Magic?" she laughs. "Don't be ridiculous, there's no such thing as..." She trails off and stops, green eyes wide as the building appears before her.

"Circe's crown," she whispers, hands at her lips. He notices another wizarding epithet but doesn't say anything. "There's a pub here and I've never noticed. I've walked up and down this street dozens of times yet I never even saw the sign."

James squeezes her hand in sympathy. "I imagine it's a bit of a shock the first time." He feels a stab of pain saying that, since it isn't really her first time, only she can't remember.

"Was it for you?" she asks, resuming her walk with him.

James shakes his head, smiling at the memory of shopping trips with his parents. "No, I've always known it was there. I grew up coming to Diagon Alley."

"Diagonally?" she asks, confused again. "You do like to talk in riddles, James."

He loves hearing the sound of his first name. She had only just started using it before she disappeared over the Christmas holidays and never returned. He feels a pang of guilt as he wonders if this new Lily, this lost Lily, will like him more than the other. If she does, will he want the old Lily back?

Shaking his head of such thoughts, he enters the small dark pub, waving at the barman and leading her to a table in the back. She gapes around her, eyes wide as she takes in the strange dress, the unusual drinks, the occasional wand. He wonders if it was like this the first time she came through the Leaky Cauldron, when she was eleven years old and on her way to Hogwarts. He is suddenly struck by how lucky he is to show her it all again.

"Two Butterbeers," he tells the barman. Lily raises a questioning eyebrow, much like he remembers.

"Butterbeer? Sounds…interesting."

"I haven't met a witch or wizard who doesn't like it," James replies as a pretty witch brings them two bottles. He is sure he knows her, but he ignores her, and she walks away in a huff. "It's practically our national drink." He raises his bottle to Lily, unable to resist the gesture. She rolls her eyes, again bringing back memories of their days at Hogwarts with her favorite response to almost everything he said and did.

"Is that what you think I am, a wizard then?" she asks. She takes a sip from her bottle and pulls a face. James laughs, and she soon joins him. That is the new Lily, someone who laughs with him instead of at him.

"Actually, you're a witch," he says as they finish enjoying her reaction. She tries the Butterbeer again, and it seems to go down better. "And a bloody good one, too."

"A witch," she repeats. "Like, with pointy hats, warts, and a broomstick? That sort of witch?"

Now it is James's turn to roll his eyes. "Pointy hats went out of fashion three hundred years ago, warts are easy to fix, but yes—you had a broomstick."

"And did I fly?" she teases.

"Of course," James says matter-of-factly, enjoying her wide-eyed reaction. "Quite well, actually. I wanted you for Quidditch, but you wouldn't have anything to do with it. Or maybe just me."

"There you go, using funny words again," she laughs. "And why wouldn't I have anything to do with you? I'm quite enjoying this." She finishes her Butterbeer and smiles. He orders them a second round.

"I knew you would," he says, inclining his head to the Butterbeer even though he knew she was referring to his company. "You're a witch, Lily—you've only forgotten. Do you have any idea of what happened?"

Lily frowns and seems to look inward. "No, not really. My parents said I was in a car accident over Christmas last year. I was in a coma for weeks. We moved away not long after that. They didn't talk about it much."

James shakes his head. "That doesn't make sense," he murmurs. "I mean, I suppose it's possible, but I didn't think people could lose their memory in a car crash."

Lily shrugs. "Head trauma. All I remember is a bright flash and a searing pain and waking up in a Muggle hospital."

James stares at her. "You just used the word 'Muggle,'" he points out.

She looks slightly uncomfortable. "You've used it several times, James. I don't even know what it means."

"It means someone who isn't magical," James tells her. "Your parents are Muggles, and you're a Muggle-born, which means you're a witch even though they aren't."

"You mean, were," Lily says softly. She sets down her Butterbeer and looks down, twisting her hands her lap. "They're gone now."

"Your parents are dead?" he repeats. "You're all alone? What happened?"

"My dad passed away not long after the accident," she says. "He had a heart attack. My mum passed a few months ago from cancer. So yes, I suppose I'm alone."

"And you were wandering around in front of the Leaky Cauldron," James muses, studying her face. "What were you looking for?"

"I don't know," she replies, unable to meet his steady gaze. "I just felt like there was something here for me."

"You were right," he says.

"What, you?" she teases, a forced lightness in her voice.

"No, not me. I think you were looking for your way back to the magical world." James stands. He offers his hand and is thrilled when she takes it. "And I can take you there."

"You mean, there's more than this pub?"

"Lily Evans, you have no idea what you've just got yourself into," James replies with a grin.

* * *

They meet every day after that, and each day they talk more about the wizarding world Lily has forgotten. James is her guide, leading her throughout the shops of Diagon Alley, delighting in her newfound reactions to the life she has lost. He brings her books to read, books she had already read but finds new and exciting now. He tells her all about the wizarding world and about Hogwarts, though he is careful not to tell her too much about her own past, knowing it might color her future.

He spends every free moment he can with her. His friends give him a hard time, but he doesn't care. He feels needed for the first time, and he feels like he is doing more for her than he does for the Order. She needs him; there are others who can fight. He knows he needs to keep his distance, be a friend, but it's as if he has a second chance with her, and he's not going to let this one go wrong.

They visit Gringotts to change some money before heading to Flourish and Blotts for more books, to Florean's for ice cream, even Gambol and Japes. She is fascinated by the owl emporium and purchases a small tawny owl before he can do it for her. "I need to keep in touch with your world, after all," she says as they walk back to the Leaky Cauldron. "Though the Muggle post seems a bit less messy."

"It's your world, too," he reminds her.

She shrugs. "I suppose. I wish I remembered all this."

"You will."

"I don't think so, James." She looks sadly at him. "You've shown me so much over the last two weeks, but none of it has come back to me."

"Does it at least feel familiar?" he asks, and he is relieved to see her nod.

"Some of it. The book on potions you brought yesterday was fascinating. I can't wait to try some of them."

"You were brilliant at Potions," he murmurs, unable to resist the memory.

"I was?" she asks. "You haven't said much about me from school, you know."

"I know," he replies.

"Why is that?" she asks, sounding curious. "I wasn't a prat or anything, was I?"

James bursts out laughing at the very thought of it. "Of course not. Believe it or not, I just don't want to…influence you in anyway."

"It might help me remember," she offers hopefully. "I think I'd like to know, James."

She uses his first name again, and he realizes how different it sounds from _her_lips, as opposed to the other Lily who always called him Potter, and only James when she was angry at him. He doesn't want to lose that, but he can't keep her from her old self. She is still Lily, after all.

And so they sit and talk long into the night, and he tells her everything. He tells her about their first meeting on the Hogwarts Express, about their Sorting, about Gryffindor. She eagerly listens to the smallest details about the castle, about their classes and professors, about their brief time together as Head Boy and Girl. He glosses over the bad things—the fights and detentions, the war outside Hogwarts; he doesn't even mention Snape. Instead, they talk about Quidditch until it is so late, and they have had so many Butterbeers and Gillywaters, that they stumble out into the cold night with her owl, laughing as the pub closes behind them.

He walks her back to her flat, the one she rented not long after her parents died and the pull to London became too strong to resist. He cannot believe she is living alone, just blocks from Diagon Alley, but he is secretly thrilled when she asks him to come in.

She sets her new owl in the corner, pours them another drink and falls to the couch, begging for more information. And yet, as he joins her, she put down her drink and gives him a look that clearly says she is no longer interested in talking. She moves closer and closer, until her lips are inches from his, and he can no longer resist what he has wanted for so long yet had thought would never happen: he kisses her.

They fall quickly to the cushions, lips crashing together, eager hands exploring bodies almost desperate to be touched. James feels lightheaded, dizzy with disbelief. The one thing he thought he would never have is happening. Lily whispers his name, her lips teasing his earlobe, her hand slipping beneath the belt of his trousers. He twitches and stops.

"What's the matter?" she asks. "Did I do something wrong?"

He kisses her once more before gently disentangling himself and sitting up. He runs a nervous hand through his hair, knowing she won't give him a hard time for it because that is no longer who she is. If she was, she wouldn't be with him, undoing his belt in her second floor flat.

"No, you didn't," he finally says. "It's just that I don't want to take advantage of you, Lily."

She gives him a skeptical look that stings. "Really? I'm throwing myself at you, and you don't want to take advantage of me? Don't you think I can take care of myself?"

"Of course!" he exclaims. "I know you can, I've seen it and felt it more than a few times. You're the strongest witch I know, Lily."

"Then what's the problem?" she asks directly. "Or am I wrong is assuming there was something between us?"

"You are," he says, his head falling to his hands. "I mean—yes, there's something now, but not at Hogwarts. Merlin, Lily, this is hard. I want to so badly, and yet there's so much you don't know."

"I'll learn," she says.

"No, not that stuff. There's so much you don't remember about us." He hates even saying it, hates having to go there, but his conscience won't stop yelling at him to be completely truthful with her. He knows that if he wants something real for their future, he has to be honest about their past. "We have a complicated history."

"Then tell me," she snaps. "Before I bloody well throw you out."

James cannot help but laugh, earning a frosty glare from Lily. "_That's_what I'm talking about. Lily, we didn't really get along at school. Not like this."

"If you're always this much of a prat, I can see why," she says. She stands and moves away, taking her drink and making a point to pour it down the sink in the small kitchen at the back.

"It has nothing to do with…this," he replies, gesturing at them, at the couch. "You just never would have done this with me. For six years we either ignored each other or fought like dragons. But you never went out with me, not once."

She is silent for a moment. "So you've said. I still don't see your point." She walks into another room, and James can hear her moving around.

"I asked, Lily, I asked over and over," he says, hoping she is still listening. "I thought maybe I had a chance sixth year, but even then all we could do when we were together was antagonize one another. When we were both made Heads for seventh year, I thought maybe then things would change, but…"

"Did they?" she calls from the other room. She reappears shortly, wearing casual pants and a long shirt and pulling her hair into a loose ponytail. She returns to the living room with a large glass of water and settles down on the other side of the couch from him, tucking her legs beneath her.

"Not exactly," he says softly. "We got along better after a few months. I was just starting to think maybe I'd try again, only I never got to see if you would have said yes. You disappeared."

She refuses to meet his eyes. "So then what happened?" she asks softly. "What happened when I didn't come back?"

James takes a deep breath. "We never knew. You just didn't return after holidays, and a Ravenclaw was made Head Girl. Professor McGonagall tried to find out, but never told us anything if she did. I asked Professor Dumbledore a dozen times, but he wouldn't say either. He only said thatyou had had an accident. We assumed…well, we assumed you were dead."

James looks up to see her staring into her water glass, her green eyes shimmering with tears. He reaches out to her, but she shrugs him away, and he feels wretched for having said anything at all.

"I was scared you would say something like that," she finally says, her words shaky. "About me being dead. You have no idea what it feels like to learn everyone you used to know and love thinks you're dead, and not remember any of it."

This time she lets him slide over and put his arm around her shoulder. She turns her face into his shoulder and for the first time since he found her, she cries. She cries for all that she has lost, and James holds her, stroking her hair and desperately wishing he could absorb her pain and restore her memories, even if it meant she went back to hating him.

Finally she wipes her eyes and looks into his face with a sad smile. "Thank you for telling me, James," she says softly. "Is that why you won't kiss me? Because the old me didn't like you, and you feel like you're taking advantage of the new me?"

He nods, feeling his own eyes prick with tears. He realizes he loves them both, the Lily who lives in his memories and the Lily he has built new memories with. What he can't do is reconcile one with the other.

"I can't believe I didn't see how kind and caring you were in school," she says, watching him closely.

"That's probably because I wasn't." He can't help but laugh somewhat bitterly, thinking of his younger self. "You frequently referred to me as an arrogant toerag, a big-headed prat, or a conceited git. And you were right every time."

"Then you've changed too," she muses.

"I suppose I have," he replies. "War will do that to you."

"As do car accidents," she says. "If we've both changed, I don't see the problem with being together as new people."

"Only you don't remember what it was like between us before, and I do," James says, unable to resist touching her face. "I've thought of this moment for so long, but I feel like I'm doing something wrong by finally realizing it this way."

She lifts her face to his and kisses him once more. "Don't feel guilty. If I ever remember what you used to be like, I'll also remember who you are now. And who we are now is what should matter, not who we were two years ago."

"Lily, I—" he starts, not knowing what to say. Fortunately she stops him.

"Don't talk anymore," she murmurs. "Just be you, with me."

And he takes her in his arms to show her how much she means to him, no matter who she is.

* * *

End Notes:  
Thank you so much to Lea/muggle girl marauder for being my alpha beta and reading this over for me! I really appreciate her support as I always tend to question myself when starting something new and slightly different. Thank you to every one who has helped me out with the tense, as well, and to Carole for helping me with my terrible Brit-picking! This will be a short story in three parts, but I do hope you enjoy it.

Also, to address a guest review-if you have seen any of my stories elsewhere, it was most likely Mugglenet, where I have been sharing my stories for several years now. I also have a fic account on Live Journal and have posted a few other stories here and there. I have always used the same penname, however, so if you see it somewhere else under a different name, please let me know! Thank you!


	2. Part Two

Part Two

"Wake up, sleepyhead!" calls a cheerful voice. James rolls over, his hand groping the other side of the bed only to find it cold and empty. He sighs and sits up, reaching for his glasses and searching for the absent voice.

"Lily, where are you?" he calls into the kitchen. "What are you doing up so early?" He stands and stretches and begins to pull on his clothes from the night before.

Lily puts her head through the doorway with a smile. "Making breakfast of course," she laughs. "Today is a big day."

Shaking his head, James struggles to remember.

"My wand," she says. "I'm getting a new wand today. You said you'd take me, remember?"

"Of course," James replies, walking over to her and taking her in his arms. He begins to nuzzle her neck, but she pushes him away with a laugh.

"You can put _your_wand away, thank you very much," she says, pulling him into the kitchen. "At least until later. I can't wait to get to Ollivander's."

James sits down at her small table and pretends to groan. "Rejected for a barmy old wizard with fancy wands," he says, digging into some eggs.

"I'd hardly call last night a rejection," she winks at him, pouring them each a cup of coffee.

"No, last night was amazing," James agrees, the words slipping out before he can stop them. "I mean, uh…" He is embarrassed; usually he is much more reserved about these things.

Lily takes his hand and squeezes. "I know," she says. "It was wonderful." She tucks into some bacon. "And I even enjoyed meeting your friends."

James snorts. "You don't have to lie about that," he says. "I know they're a motley sort of crew."

"Oh, they're perfectly nice," she says, "if a bit cheeky. I don't know what you were so worried about."

"I wasn't worried about you, I was worried about me," James laughs. "I'm sure next time I see them, they will completely take the piss out of me."

"Why?" she asks. "Because you're seeing me?"

"Because it's just what they do," James says. "But yes, because I'm seeing you. And they don't mean it in a bad way, they just know how much…well, they just know me."

"They certainly do," Lily muses. "You seem very close. Can I ask you a question?"

"Go ahead," says James, helping himself to more eggs and some bacon. "I can make up a good answer to just about anything."

Lily laughs, and James grins at her, his heart full. She had walked back into his life just six weeks ago, but if feels as if they have been together far longer. He could do this forever, waking up next to her, eating breakfast with her, just being with her.

"How did you get your nicknames?" she asks, watching him curiously.

He almost spits out his coffee, he's so surprised at the unexpected question. It hadn't even occurred to him to get into that part of his life with her. He chokes a bit and her eyes widen even as she suppresses a smile.

"I'm sorry!" she exclaims, then laughs as he wipes his mouth. "It must be quite a story."

"You have no idea," he murmurs.

"So are you going to tell me?" she asks, pouring him more coffee.

He leans over and takes her hand. "Ask me again, sometime," he says softly. "It's not just my story, and I'm not sure if I can share it without asking."

Instead of getting angry like the old Lily might have, this new Lily nods slowly, taking it in. "Okay. I will. It must be really brilliant."

"In some ways," says James. "It's fairly mental in others." He finishes his breakfast quickly, hoping to move away from the subject. As much as he wants to tell her, he knows that more than his own health and happiness are involved. "All right, I'm ready, how about you?"

She raises an eyebrow at him. "I was ready an hour ago. Let's go!"

After a quick shower and change, he is soon holding her hand as they set out for Diagon Alley. It is only a few blocks, and she talks the entire way there of her new spell book and how she can't wait to cast her first charm. She finally feels ready, she says.

"Charms sound the most easy and natural," she tells him as they enter the Leaky Cauldron and make their way toward the back wall. "I'm almost starting to believe I'm a witch. This will make it…official."

James nods, remembering clearly the day his parents took him to purchase his wand. Even growing up in a magical household, he had not truly felt like a real wizard until he had waved the eleven-inch mahogany wand through the air in Ollivander's and accidentally knocked over a vase of flowers with a shower of gold sparks.

They hurry through the streets to the wand shop, laughing and talking. It is a beautiful spring day, and the streets are crowded with witches and wizards enjoying the sunshine after a particularly dreary winter. The ever-present threat of war seems miles away at that moment, though James remains alert to his surroundings. His time with the Order has taught him that danger can strike at any time.

They enter Ollivander's and find the old wizard behind his desk, carving a delicate piece of wood. He looks up at them and nods brusquely.

"It's about time you came by, Miss Evans," he says without greeting. "Ten and a half inches, rowan with a dragon core." He stands and moves to the back of the shop, returning with several long boxes. "It will be a challenging one to replace, but we'll start with these."

Ollivander hands her one wand at a time, motioning her to wave them about a bit. James watches, a small smile on his face as she grows more and more skeptical of the wandmaker and his mutterings. When the old wizard turns back for more boxes, she leans over to James and whispers, "What is he looking for?"

"The right wand," James says. "You'll know it when you find it."

Lily's face suddenly goes pale. "What if I don't find it?" she asks. "What if I already did and I don't get a second chance?"

"Nonsense," says Ollivander, returning to the counter. "Wizards frequently break or even lose their wands, and we always find them a second one. It may not be as comfortable as the first, but it will work perfectly well. It may even be better. Try this."

Lily waves several more wands. James notices that after each one fails to get any response from Ollivander, her face grows a little tighter and her eyes more strained. He can tell she is holding back tears. Ollivander, on the other hand, seems to delight in the challenge and hurries to the back for more. Lily turns to James again, her eyes bright.

"James," she whispers, holding out her hand for support. "What if I'm not a witch anymore? What if the accident took away more than my memories?"

Although he feels his insides go cold, he takes her hand and smiles. "I've never heard of someone losing their magic," he tells her. "Especially in a car accident. You'll find your wand. I know wizards who have tried dozens."

"But what if…" she starts, then falters. "What if it wasn't a car accident that took my memories? What if it was something else, something that _could_erase my magic?"

James frowns, not because he is confused, but because he has reluctantly wondered the same thing. Yet even a powerful Memory Charm would leave her magic intact…wouldn't it?

"All right, Miss Evans," says Ollivander, coming back with one more box. "I think we've narrowed it down. This should be it."

Lily looks nervously at the black box, then takes out a small, thin wand.

"Ten and a quarter inches, willow with a unicorn core, and swishy " says Ollivander. "Rather different than your first, but then, you're a bit different as well."

Lily nods, then waves the wand. She jumps when a brilliant flash of light bursts forth. James ducks as the entire shop is filled with sparks of red and gold; Ollivander dissolves them before they can start a fire. He nods with satisfaction while James whoops with glee. Lily just stares at her new wand, stunned.

"It works," she whispers. "I really am a witch."

* * *

Lily learns quickly with her new wand, mastering basic spells within the week. Within the month she is casting fifth-year charms, curses, and countercurses. Whether some part of her remembers or whether she is simply that talented, James does not know. He only feels a deep pride and even greater love for her each and every day.

Her newfound skills are tested as they walk through London. Lily shows James some of her favorite places from her former life as a Muggle, including the shop where she worked, and he delights in spending time with her. He knows, however, that things are not well. It has been a difficult month in the Order, for Voldemort's forces have stepped up their attacks on witches, wizards, and Muggles alike. He is still sore from his last duel with Death Eaters in Hogsmeade two nights previous, and keeps a wary eye on the surrounding street, knowing they will surely come after him for seriously injuring one of their own.

They are returning to Lily's flat when it happens: from the shadows of a dark alley, an invisible rope wraps itself around their waists, pulling them without warning into the inky shadows. James barely has time to murmur under his breath and release a bright light from his wand before they are thrown to the ground, and their arms are pinned behind them by magic, their wands ripped away. Five wizards surround them, their faces hidden by the cruel mask of Voldemort's Death Eaters.

"Hello, blood traitor," sneers the tallest. Though his gravelly voice is muted by the mask he wears, James still recognizes the Death Eater as a former classmate. He fights against the invisible bonds holding him captive, knowing what the man is now capable of.

"Sod off, Avery, and take your dirty little friends with you."

"Shut it, Potter," snaps Avery, and James feels a sharp Stinging Hex slice across his upper arm.

"Leave him alone!" cries Lily, struggling uselessly against the spell pinning her arms behind her.

"Look, Potter's got a girlfriend," says Avery, hauling her up and peering into her face. "You look familiar. Another bloody Gryffindor. You're a Mudblood, too, aren't you? What's your name again?"

"None of your damn business," she snaps, spitting into his face. Avery swears violently and doesn't even bring his wand up: he slaps her hard across the face, leaving a red welt on her cheek.

"Stop!" demands a second voice. James freezes, for he recognizes this new voice as well. Severus Snape steps from the shadows and removes his mask. "Lily? Lily Evans?" he asks, much as James did when he found her wandering outside the Leaky Cauldron. James can hear the disbelief in Snape's voice, disbelief tinged with shock and loss. It makes him sick, to think she used to be friends with someone like Snape.

"That depends on who's asking, you slimy tosspot," she snaps. "Let us go." James can't help but smirk up at Snape. The look on the other man's face is a mixture of hatred and confusion and longing.

Snape motions to the others to back away. He steps closer to Lily, tilting his head and peering deeply into her green eyes. They widen as she struggles against the invisible bonds again.

"Stop it," she gasps. "That hurts!"

Snape steps backward in surprise, then turns on James, hauling him to his feet next to stand next to Lily. "What happened?" he demands. "What have you done to her? Why doesn't she know me?"

"I can speak for myself, prick," Lily snaps. "I lost my memory last year. And if I knew you before, I'm certainly glad I don't remember you anymore."

"How?" Snape whispers, stepping away. He is clearly rattled; the others laugh, but he silences them with a cut of his hand.

"Car accident," Lily says curtly.

Snape narrows his eyes at her again, as if deciding the truth of her statement. He blows a frustrated breath out through his nose and the familiar sneer returns to his sallow face. "And yet here you are, with Potter of all people?" He practically spits out the name.

Lily glances at James, confused. "He just can't accept you'd ever go out with me," James says, glaring at Snape. "He couldn't stand it when you even looked at me at school, yet alone talked to me."

"You were an imbecile at Hogwarts," snaps Snape. "Strutting around with your self-centered band of thick-headed friends as if you owned the castle. You were an arrogant bastard, and you're little better now!"

James shrugs. "I was. And you were a greasy-haired arsehole already playing at Dark magic by the time you got to school. Apparently I'm the only one who grew up."

"Yet here I am, and there you are, and who has the upper hand?" Snape points out, his voice level again. "The Dark Lord will be pleased when we bring him the former Head Boy and Head Girl of Hogwart's last class."

"She's a Mudblood," hisses one of the others, a large Death Eater James recognizes as Mulciber. "Kill her."

"Shut it!" shouts James, struggling uselessly once more. "Don't call her that."

"She's a Mudblood without a memory, Snape," says Avery, leaning in closer. "Don't bother with her. Just bring in Potter-much as you'd like to kill him."

"Him, I would." Snape narrows his eyes. "But we bring them both."

"Like hell you will," James mutters. Lily stares at him, wide-eyed and obviously looking for some sign of what to do. He gives her an almost imperceptible nod, and she relaxes, trusting him.

"Believe me, I find it equally tedious," Snape says, raising a thin eyebrow. "Yet for some reason, you are wanted. The Dark Lord would like to see you personally. Something about an incident up north. Let's go."

Before he can replace his mask, there is a loud crack, and two more figures materialize at the end of the alley. Sirius immediately takes down Avery, releasing the invisible ropes on James and Lily. He turns toward Mulciber next as James grabs their wands back. Remus starts dueling with the remaining two Death Eaters. James leaps in front of Lily, his wand aimed at Snape.

"How did they get here?" Snape demands, casting a Trip Jinx. James blocks it easily, laughing confidently.

"The upper hand, Snape," he says, firing a hex of his own. Behind him, Lily turns so she is back to back with him now, and from the corner of his eye he sees her cast a jinx at one of the Death Eaters dueling with Remus. "The Order has its ways, and we don't need to burn it into our arms."

"The Order," laughs Snape. "Dumbledore's gone weak if he's accepting your lot into that pathetic excuse for a ragtag band of Muggle-loving defenders."

James growls as he sends another curse at Snape. Snape, on the other hand, seems to be enjoying it and continues to provoke, smirking cruelly and casting a Backfiring Jinx.

"Of course, we caught you easily enough. Must have been distracted." Snape motions his head toward Lily, now dueling alongside Remus Lupin as if born to fight. "I can't believe she's with _you_. Of course it would take a Memory Charm to get into her knickers."

"What are you talking about?" demands James, blocking another curse and casting his own. "She was in a car accident."

"Highly doubtful," says Snape. "More likely magic. You know it, but you just won't admit it."

"If it was a Memory Charm, then it was likely a Death Eater who did it," James snarls. He slashes with his wand, casting curse after curse and blocking Snape's spells expertly until he is close enough to put his wand at the other man's throat. They are both breathing heavily. "Maybe even you."

Snape merely raises an eyebrow. "Don't be thick, Potter. I had no idea."

"You don't seem broken-hearted," James hisses, furious at the implication. "Your best friend loses her memory and all you can do is drag her before your master. Some friend."

Snape doesn't even move his wand, he simply inclines his head as if acknowledging what is about to happen, and James finds himself thrown across the alley by a powerful nonverbal Hurling Hex. He hits the wall hard and sinks to the ground, his head bleeding and his senses reeling. Before Snape can move any closer, Lily's wand is at his temple, shaking.

"Drop it," she snarls as James struggles to stand, the alley spinning around him.

"Lily," says Snape, sounding conversationally calm with her wand at his head, "come with me. We could be friends again. I'll help you remember what you were really like."

She laughs, a sarcastic bark that obviously cuts into her former friend. "I know what I was like. And I'm fairly sure I wasn't friends with you."

"But you were!" he says. "We were close, Lily. I was the one who showed you your magic, not him." He motions down at James, who laughs bitterly.

"He called you a Mudblood, Lily," James tells her, rising shakily, his hand on the wall for support. "He was always more interested in Dark Magic than you. He joined the Death Eaters because he doesn't believe Muggleborns even deserve to live."

"I didn't mean it!" Snape shouts, his eyes suddenly wild. "It was your fault, Potter! Yours and Black."

"I didn't put the words in your mouth, Snape. I just washed your mouth out afterwards."

Lily frowns, obviously confused by a conflict she has no memory of. She lowers her wand slightly, and Snape casts a Langlock Jinx on James, forcing him silent as his tongue sticks to the roof of his mouth. Before Snape can cast another curse, Lily cries, "_Impedimenta_!" but is disappointed when he blocks it easily and raises his wand to fire back. Like Lily, he hesitates.

James casts a silent Stunning spell, but Snape turns on the spot and Apparates away, the jet of red light passing through empty space. James kicks at the ground in frustration. Lily sinks to her knees, hands covering her face.

Not far from them, Sirius finishes his duel with Mulciber. Remus ties up the other two Death Eaters and looks for Avery, but the bigger man has also Apparated from the alley.

"Cowards," he mutters as he approaches James and Lily. "Are you hurt?"

James can only shrug, his voice silenced by Snape's spell. Murmuring the countercurse, Remus releases his friend and asks again. "Are you all right?"

"Lily?" asks James, hurrying to where she is kneeling, terrified she has been injured. She looks up at him with a blank stare, shaking her head.

"What's wrong?" he asks, his voice cracking as he kneels in front of her. "Lily, what's wrong? Are you hurt?"

"No," she says softly. "Just…sorry."

James wraps his arms around her. "What are you sorry for? You were brilliant."

"I'm sorry I was friends with a man like that," she whispers, laying her head on his shoulder. James looks up at Remus and Sirius, the concern he feels written across their faces as well. He helps her to stand, his arm around her shoulder.

"We'll clean up here and get them back to the Order," Sirius says softly. "You two go. Get that arm tended."

James looks down at the bloody gash across his upper arm. It does not bother him as much as his pounding head or his deep concern for Lily. Yet she surprises him once again as she takes a deep breath and stands up straight.

"No. I'm okay. I want to help," she says. "I want to fight."

"What?" says James, echoed quickly by Remus and Sirius.

"I want to join the Order," says Lily, facing him. "I didn't really understand how bad it was until tonight. Now I know."

"Lily, you can't," protests James. "You might get hurt, you might get killed—"

"I might save someone from losing their memory, like me," she says, her voice tight. "You know he was right. I wasn't in a car accident. It was a Memory Charm, wasn't it? I was attacked by Death Eaters, like you said, and I lost all memory of having even been a witch."

"Are you remembering?" James whispers, hardly daring to believe it might be happening, or that she is right. Yet he has wondered so many times, he is not surprised that she has voiced it as well.

"No," she says, shaking her head. "I just know. I felt it, when he was in my mind. The truth."

Remus shakes his head as Sirius hisses under his breath.

"I knew the oily snake was a Legilimens," Sirius says, his face contorted with disgust. "I knew it!"

"What did he want with you, anyway?" asks Remus. "Why did they attack you?"

"Snape said something about the incident up in Hogsmeade," replies James, running his hands across his face. "But Voldemort wanted me alive, not dead."

"That's not good," murmurs Remus.

"Who's Snape?" Lily demands. "Was he right? Were we really friends at Hogwarts?"

James can only nod. He had always glossed over Snape, not wanting to bring up her friendship with a man who was now the enemy. He had not wanted her to remember, for fear it would cause her more pain. And deep down, he had worried that she might go back to him, try to save him.

"Why didn't you tell me?" she asks. She does not seem as angry as he would have expected, perhaps because she has seen for herself just what Snape has become. He still feels guilty, though, for keeping that part of her past from her.

"Because he's a bloody twat, that's why," says Sirius before James can answer.

"Obviously," says Lily, glancing at the three of them. "So why was I friends with him? And why does he hate you so much?"

"He's a Slytherin, Evans," says Sirius, "And a jealous, no-good, untalented one at that."

Remus shakes his head. "He's got talent, there's no doubt of that, Padfoot. He's always been a formidable wizard."

"Still a sodding tosspot," mutters Sirius.

Lily turns to James, waiting for him to say something. Although he feels contrite, he stands tall. "He knew what he was doing at Hogwarts, I'll admit. But Sirius is right—Snape was jealous, and he was no-good from the start. He was already using Dark Magic by the time he came to school. We didn't get along from the first day."

"Then how did I become friends with him?" Lily asks again, clearly confused.

"He was telling the truth. He showed you your magic." James hates admitting it; it had always galled him that her best friend had been Severus Snape. Even Lily's friends had questioned why she had remained so close to him for so long. "You met him before you came to Hogwarts."

"And yet he called me that…that word?" she asks, lips tight. "A friend?" James nods, and she continues, obviously determined to hear the truth of it to determine her own story. "And what did he mean, it was your fault?"

"We were giving him a hard time after O.W.L.s," says James, leaving out the details of the scene by the lake. It was not something he was proud of. "You stuck up for him and he told you off. I think that's when you stopped being friends."

Lily is silent for several moments. "You should have told me," she says, her face unreadable.

"Snape's a bloody wanker, Evans," says Sirius, his face dark. "Why would you want to remember an arsehole like him?"

She simply stares at him, until he looks away, rolling his eyes.

"I should have told you," James admits. "I'm sorry."

Lily is silent for a moment, then nods. "Considering what he is now, I couldn't care less." She takes a breath to steady herself. "What was that light you sent? Is that how you knew where we were?" She looks at Sirius and Remus, and Remus nods.

"It's called a Patronus," he tells her. "It's how we communicate in the Order. James sent one just as you were captured."

"It's a N.E.W.T. spell," James tells her. "We haven't worked on it yet."

Lily gives him a challenging look. "Then I've still got a lot of catching up to do, haven't I?"

"Lily, I don't think you're—" James starts, but she cuts him off.

"I'm not fighting you about it, James. I'm fighting them." She points to the Death Eaters tied up on the ground, and then back to him. "And you know you can't stop me, so don't even try."

He knows it, and he loves her even more for it.

* * *

End Notes:

Thank you so much to Lea/mugglegirlmarauder for once again being my alpha-beta and reading this over. I must confess that it was her idea to include a confrontation with Snape in the story, for I had always envisioned this as a series of short scenes between James and Lily exclusively. Yet I needed something to balance the first scene, and couldn't resist the challenge. I will also admit that I am in no way, shape, or form a fan of Snape and Lily, and so if you picked up on any animosity toward Snape, it was entirely intended, I assure you. While they might have been friends for a while, people change and so do their relationships, and I see no reason why Snape's undying love for Lily should have kept her tied to a man who called her such names and was obviously unwilling to turn aside from his dark path for their friendship.

Also, to address a guest review for Part One-if you have seen any of my stories elsewhere, it was most likely Mugglenet, where I have been sharing my stories for several years now. I have also posted a few other stories here and there, including Live Journal. I have always used the same penname (or some variation) however, so if you see something somewhere else under a different name, please let me know! Thank you!


	3. Part Three

Part Three

"I don't understand," says James. "I thought we had plans. I wanted to take you flying."

Lily looks away, unable to meet his eyes. "I know. We did. I just…can't."

"Why?" he asks as she walks away. "This is the third time this week. What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong, James," she says. "I just can't go."

"You're giving me the brush off," he says. "You don't want to see me anymore." He says it matter-of-fact, though he feels the heat in his face that betrays his anger and hurt.

"I'm not," she protests, though she still refuses to look at him. "I just can't go flying today."

"Tell me why," he demands. "You couldn't go last week, you couldn't go yesterday, and now you're telling me you can't go today. I think you just _won't_go. I think you're scared."

She turns on him, eyes suddenly blazing. "Back off, Potter. I'm not scared and I'm not going."

James narrows his eyes at her first use of his surname. He feels the old antagonism returning and though he fears it, he is so used to it from their days at Hogwarts that it is also comfortable. So he embraces it instead.

"Then tell me what's going on, _Evans_. I think I deserve it."

"You don't deserve anything if you're just going to push me, Potter. Back off for once."

She leaves him standing on the street corner, mouth hanging open. Though her back is straight and her head is high, he sees her raise her hand to her eyes and knows she is angrily wiping away tears. It has been two weeks since they were attacked by Death Eaters, and it is the third time they have fought. He thinks he is beginning to understand, but he doesn't know how to help her. He hurries after her, determined not to lose her again.

"Lily!" he calls. "Wait! I want to talk!"

"Go away, James!" she throws over her shoulder. "I don't want to see you right now."

"Why?" he asks, breathlessly coming up beside her. "Are you remembering something?"

She gives him the most disparaging look yet since they first met outside the Leaky Cauldron. He realizes how wrong he was when he sees instead the fear and confusion in her eyes.

"Tell me what's wrong," he says, pleading with her. She looks away. "Please."

"James Potter, you drive me mad," she says softly. She doesn't answer, but she doesn't dismiss him either. He walks with her, until she sighs and begins to talk.

"I just don't want to go flying, James. It's that simple." She says it very calmly, but James knows there is more, and decides to press her again. It's what he's good at, after all. He knows it is the only way to keep them honest.

"Why?"

"Dammit, James, stop _pushing_!" she snaps again. "I'm not some charity case who needs your sympathy to get back on my feet."

"I know that," he replies, biting back the hurt.

"Then stop treating me like one," she says.

"Stop acting like one," he snaps.

"How dare you!" she practically spits at him. They are standing in front of her flat, and James desperately wants to go up, to fight it out and make up afterwards. The furious look on her face, however, tells him that she entertains no such thoughts. He decides to push her more.

"I dare to because I care about you, Lily," he says, his voice tight. "I care about what happens to you, I care about you getting back your magic. If it wasn't for me, you wouldn't even know you were a witch."

Lily glances around the street to see if anyone heard them, then narrows her eyes and lowers her voice. "Thank you for pointing out my debt, then. I hope I've repayed you for it."

"You don't think…" he stammers. "You don't mean…how dare _you_, Evans!"

"It's the truth, isn't it? You found me, you rescued me, you slept with me. You were so worried about taking advantage of me, and yet you did anyway!"

He is so angry he turns and walks away, only to return and sputter once more. She just stares silently, angrily at him. Finally he takes her arm, glances around, and turns on the spot. They disappear from London and reappear a hundred miles away on a grassy lawn where flowers are beginning to bloom.

"What the hell was that?" Lily gasps, doubling over. James feels a small guilty pleasure in seeing her reaction to the Side-Along Apparition, but concern overtakes him when she vomits all over the lawn.

"Shit, Lily, I'm sorry—"

"Sod off, Potter," she says, standing straight and backing away. "Leave me alone."

"No," he says, very simply. He watches her reaction, hoping he hasn't pushed her too hard.

She narrows her eyes, unable to respond. "Where the hell are we?" she asks instead.

James shrugs. "This is my family's house. This is where I wanted to take you flying."

Her eyes blaze furiously. "And I told you I didn't want to go!" she snaps. "Take me home. Now."

"Not until you tell me what's really going on," he says, crossing his arms over his chest as if he were preparing to wait for a long time. "Tell me, Lily, or I'll just figure it out on my own."

"Go ahead," she dares him, crossing her own arms. They glare at each other, and James is reminded of all the times they did exactly the same at Hogwarts.

"All right, I will," he replies. He circles her like prey. "I think you're scared, only you're not scared of flying, not really. And I don't think you're scared of me, either, although that might be part of it…" Speaking out loud helps him work through it, and he begins to understand. "You're scared of magic, of this new life, of the war." He pauses and drops his arms. "You're overwhelmed. It's too much, too fast."

He watches the emotions play across her face until pride wins out. She has always been proud, even at Hogwarts. He knows she will not admit anything, and worries he will lose her again. He doesn't know what to do, and neither does she, for she denies him once more.

"Maybe it is and maybe I am, but I can handle it, James. I just need some time."

"So you can run away and disappear?" he asks, suddenly terrified that she might vanish into the Muggle world again.

"I'm not a bloody coward," she shouts at him. "I'm just…I'm just not who you think I am."

"What the hell does that mean? And you are a coward if you won't tell me."

She is positively livid. Her green eyes are rimmed with tears she refuses to let fall, and her fists are bunched at her sides. "Damn you, James," she whispers.

"Tell me," he begs.

"All right!" she shouts. "I'm scared! I'm scared of who I was and of who I am becoming. I'm scared of flying, of Apparating, of fighting a war I didn't know even know existed six months ago—all of it." She sucks in a deep, shuddering breath. "And yes—I'm scared of you."

He steps toward her, but she shakes her head, and he stops to let her continue. "You say you liked me before, the Lily Evans I can't remember and can never be. And yet you like me now, the Lily Evans with no past, who knows almost nothing about magic. I don't understand. How can you like us both?" Her lip is quivering with the effort of holding back the tears.

He wants to take her and hold her and tell her he loves her, but he only nods in understanding, knowing that he needs to wait until she won't turn him away. "I don't know, Lily. I just do. Why can't you accept that?"

"Because I don't want you to leave me if I can't be who I used to be," she whispers, and her face crumples. He takes three quick strides and wraps his arms around her.

"I'm not going to leave you," he tells her, stroking her hair. "I'm not. No matter what happens in the future, no matter what happened in the past." He tilts her face toward him. "I love you. I've loved you for years. Please don't be scared."

"I'm terrified," she admits softly.

"Of what, me?" he teases.

"No, the thought that someone could love me so much they would want to be with me no matter what." She sniffs, and he conjures her a handkerchief. It brings a brief smile to her face.

"I can't imagine anything that would ever change that," he says. "I really can't."

"What if I lose my memory again?" she whispers.

"I'm more worried about you remembering," he replies with a small wink.

"That's right, you're worried I'll remember what an idiot you were," she muses, the lightness returning to her tone.

"You said it wouldn't matter, and I believed you." He gives her a very direct look. "Why can't you believe me when I say the same?"

Lily sighs. "Because you haven't lost ten years of your life and the ability to charm a handkerchief into existence."

He takes her hand and leads her toward a small storage shed at the back of the house. "We'll work on the handkerchief spell then." Unlocking the door with his wand, he takes a well-worn broom from the dark shed.

"James, I'm sorry about what I said," Lily says softly from behind him.

He turns and kisses her soundly. "I know. Me too." He grins. "Now, come fly with me."

"That's a Muggle song," Lily murmurs, eyeing the broom apprehensively.

"Brilliant. You can sing it for me." He slips onto the broom, taking her hand. She still hesitates. "Trust me."

And she finally does.

* * *

"Tell me again why we didn't use Floo powder?" asks Lily, her eyes closed as she stumbles from the Side-Along Apparition. "And did I actually pass my Apparition test? Because I can't stand it."

James takes her hand again to steady her. "You did, eventually. There was a lot of grumbling about it in the common room, though. It took you three tries, and you yelled at us all quite a bit while you were studying for it." James grins, remembering her hair-trigger temper in the common room while she studied.

"As if it was your fault," she murmurs, rolling her eyes at her past self. "Sorry about that, and I apologize for any future shouting I do about the subject as well. It's miserable."

"You'll get the hang of it," he says, leading her forward. "You did before, you will again."

"But do I want to?" she asks ruefully.

"It's not that different than a Portkey," James points out. "And you've done fine with those. You've even got the spell down."

"That's because the Portkey does all the work," she says. "And when you are Portkeying out of a dark forest with a dozen Death Eaters chasing after you, anything will do."

"Portkeying?" he asks teasingly. "I think you just made up a new word."

She laughs with him as they walk toward the gates of Hogwarts.

"Seriously, James—why didn't we Floo? Professor Dumbledore was more than willing to arrange a network opening for us."

"And I told him the same thing I'll tell you: you shouldn't see Hogwarts from the inside of a fireplace for the first time. You should see it properly, from the grounds."

"Only it's not my first time," she murmurs.

"It is now," he states firmly. "And I want it to be a sight to remember."

Lily shrugs. "It doesn't really matter, does it? It's not like I'm ever coming back. I missed my final year and lost the rest. What's the point?"

James is silent, for he has asked himself the same thing. Yet he feels like a part of their history is wrapped up in the castle, and he wants to share that with her. He wants her to see where it all began—her first true steps into the wizarding world, her first real meeting with him. He has no hope anymore that she will remember, but he hopes she can at least understand a bit more of her past so they can move forward. He knows this is the place to begin their future together.

"Try not to think of it that way," he finally answers. "Think of it as another connection to your past, a good one. Trust me, it's a place you'll want to know. Our kids will go here." He bumps her with his shoulder, giving her a wink and a smile to show he is joking. He isn't, not really, but he doesn't want to scare her away. Not yet, anyway.

Lily raises her eyebrows, a perfect reaction. "Our kids? Please, James, we're not even…" she trails off as they come to the gates of Hogwarts, and she sees the castle for the first time.

"Oh my."

James feels her amazement, her happiness, and like so many other times he has journeyed with her into her forgotten past, her sense of loss and sadness. He finds her hand and squeezes.

"I told you," he whispers. He takes out his wand and casts his Patronus to let Professor Dumbledore know they have arrived.

Lily watches the silver stag hurry toward the castle, a thoughtful look on her face. Then she pulls out her wand, takes a deep breath, and whispers, "_Expecto Patronum_." A trail of light spills from her wand and slowly coalesces into the form of a sparkling doe. James gasps in amazement as it sprints after his stag, but Lily only smiles and nods, as if she is not surprised at all.

For a few moments they stand in silence, until James senses the wards on the gates come down. He pushes them open and leads her onto the grounds. Lily gazes around, taking it in, sometimes with a squeal of delight, other times with a slight frown, as if she were trying to remember. It is clear, though, that her memories will never return; James did not bring her here hoping they would, but rather so they could begin to make new memories together.

They climb the front steps into the entrance hall, and Lily gasps in surprise. It is the summer holidays and there are no students around; the staircases are unmoving, the portraits relatively quiet. It is still an impressive sight, however, rising seven floors above them, and Lily shakes her head in wonder.

James pulls her to the right first, toward the large double doors that lead into the Great Hall. It is dark and silent, for the ceiling above them is cloudy as a late summer storm approaches outside. James takes Lily to the Gryffindor table, but she is just as interested in the others as well. She has no real loyalty to a house she cannot remember. After thoroughly exploring the Great Hall, he leads her back across the entrance hall and down toward the dungeons, determined to show her every part of the castle possible.

They begin in the Potions classroom. Lily is fascinated and asks James dozens of questions about the class. He tells her once more that she was brilliant at Potions, top of the class with Snape. She pulls a face when he mentions her former friend. He is telling her about Horace Slughorn when their former professor walks in and stops dead in his tracks.

"Lily Evans?" he asks, shaking himself and walking briskly toward them with an overly excited smile on his face. "You're back! Dumbledore said you had returned to the wizarding world, but I had no idea you'd be coming to Hogwarts!" He looks ready to embrace her, but thinks better of it and holds out a stout hand instead.

"Hello," Lily says with a smile. "You must be Professor Slughorn. I've heard a lot about you."

Slughorn snorts inelegantly. "If you heard it from this tosser, then I'm sure none of it was accurate," he says with a wink. He holds out his hand to James, who takes it and rolls his eyes.

"Nice to see you too, Professor," he says with a laugh.

"I'm surprised you dared walk back into this classroom, Mr. Potter," says Slughorn, his voice dramatically serious, yet his eyes twinkling. Lily glances between them, a questioning look on her face.

"If Mr. Potter did not mention his inglorious exit from his final Potions class, I shall be happy to enlighten you." Slughorn puts his arm around her shoulder and lowers his voice. "He apparently consumed quite a bit of Blissful Brew, and a strong one at that. He danced out of class leading a conga line with a cauldron on his head."

Lily bursts out laughing. "I hadn't heard about that. I can see why."

"It wasn't my fault!" James says, grimacing defensively at the embarrassing memory. "Sirius slipped it into my goblet. Which is why he left Hogwarts with a silver goatee and a French accent."

Slughorn claps him on the shoulder. "I suspected as much. You and your friends were quite entertaining, Mr. Potter. It's a wonder the castle survived your tenure here."

"It's a wonder _we_survived, sir," says James. "I hope you never have another group of muppets like us."

Slughorn laughs heartily. "But it was always interesting, James. And quite profitable for those of us who wagered on you in the staff room."

They talk for a while longer, until Slughorn remembers the ingredient he had come to find and the potion he still needs to brew. They exchange farewells and continue their tour of the castle.

After leaving the dungeons and returning to the Entrance Hall, James takes Lily up the moving staircases. Several of the portraits welcome them back to Hogwarts, exclaiming over Lily's return or James's older appearance. They explore each floor of the castle, visiting classrooms and courtyards, walking the corridors hand in hand. James shows her the secret passageways they discovered, the hidden tunnels only he and his friends knew. Once again she is excited at some times, yet quiet at others.

Soon they come to the gargoyle guarding the Headmaster's office. "Mint Humbug," says James, and the gargoyle lets them pass. They make their way up the spiral staircase and knock on the door at the top. A voice bids them welcome, and they enter the large tower room. Lily gazes around in wonder.

"Good afternoon, Ms. Evans, " says Professor Dumbledore, standing to greet them. "Welcome to Hogwarts." He does not say, "Welcome back," James notices, for he is sensitive to Lily's situation.

"Thank you, sir," she replies with a smile that is still shy. It is only the second time she has met the Headmaster. "It's good to be here. Thank you for letting us visit."

"Most students cannot wait to leave Hogwarts and rarely come back," he says. "It is a rare honor to have two of our most distinguished students return."

"I'm hardly distinguished," Lily replies, a puzzled frown on her face. "Considering I can't remember anything about being here."

"From what James has told me, you are making remarkable progress regaining what you have lost," says Dumbledore.

"It's not the same as remembering, though," she says softly.

"No, it is not." He moves around his desk and joins them. "It is unfortunate that for everything magic can do, it cannot yet restore what is has destroyed." He paused for a moment, eyes studying them both carefully. "And yet, we all change as we mature. Mr. Potter is perhaps one of the best examples I've seen."

James snorts. "I suppose it had to happen."

"I've heard the stories," Lily laughs. "New ones every day, it seems."

"I can only imagine the tales still untold," says Dumbledore with a wink. James affects a wounded look while Lily laughs again. "My comment was not to pick on James, but to only point out that perhaps you, Lily, have changed a bit more than the rest of us. You are still Lily Evans, a strong and gifted witch. You have simply grown far more and far faster in these past months than many of us do in a lifetime."

Lily blushes. "Thank you, sir."

"The Order is fortunate to have you and your gift with charms." He inclines his head and smiles, then sighs. "Speaking of the Order, I hate to cut short our conversation, but I must speak with Professor McGonagall about something. Please feel free to continue with your visit."

"Thanks again, Professor," says James as they leave.

"I'm sure you'll behave yourself, Mr. Potter," Professor Dumbledore replies. "The castle is quiet this holiday and I will surely notice any dungbombs, Filbuster fireworks, or Whizzing Worms going off in the Great Hall."

Lily laughs as James grins and rolls his eyes. The Headmaster chuckles softly behind them. They hurry down the spiral staircase and continue to explore the castle. The hallways grow dim as the approaching storm darkens the sky. They are crossing a courtyard from the Owlry when the clouds open up and a sudden downpour soaks them before they can dash across the open space back to the dry warmth of the castle.

Lily begins to ring the water from her clothing, until she stops, pulls out her wand, and remembers the drying spell. Soon they are both back to normal, though still slightly chilled. James thinks quickly: he had hoped to picnic out on the lawn, but obviously a change of plans is in order, especially if they are to warm themselves.

"Let's go to Gryffindor," he says, taking her hand and pulling her down the corridor. "I know a shortcut."

"James," she says, sounding hesitant. "I don't know about Gryffindor, I'm not sure I want to…" She trails off, looking unsure.

He squeezes her hand in support. "I know, I really do. But it's more home than any other part of the castle. I'd like to show you." He can suddenly think of no other place he would rather be with her than in the Gryffindor common room.

She takes a breath and nods. "Okay. Let's go."

They arrive at the portrait of the Fat Lady, who is busy sipping tea with a fellow witch wearing a hideous orange dress. She jumps up and exclaims when she sees James and Lily.

"My word, it's true!" she cries, spilling her cup. "You're alive! Welcome back, Ms. Evans. Welcome back." She begins to swing the door open, dabbing at her eyes in false happiness, until James raises an eyebrow.

"We haven't given the password, you know," he points out. "We could be imposters."

The Fat Lady stops, her hands flying to her mouth. Her friend gasps. "Are you?"

James laughs. "No, we're not. The password is 'summer holiday'."

"Thank goodness you're right," the Fat Lady whispers, opening the portrait hole for them. "I'd feel awful letting in an imposter."

James follows Lily through the portrait hole. The lights come on as they enter, and a fire appears suddenly in the hearth. She stops and stares around the cozy common room as the rain lashes against the windows. James wonders if he should show her the dormitories, but decides against it. Instead, he moves toward the fireplace and pulls a small box from his pocket.

He hears Lily gasp and grins to himself. Tapping the box with his wand, it grows until it is the size of the picnic basket he packed and shrunk earlier in the day. He is fairly sure he hears her breathe a sigh of relief and hopes he hasn't planned something she is not ready for.

Grabbing a blanket from the sofa, he spreads it on the floor and begins setting out the plates and food. Lily wanders around before finally joining him before the fire. She sits and snuggles up next to him as the thunder picks up outside, resonating throughout the tower.

"So this was your plan all along?" she asks as he hands her a bottle of Butterbeer. He shakes his head.

"Not exactly," he replies, but he doesn't elaborate. He is suddenly nervous. She glances at him over her drink, eyebrows raised curiously. They begin to eat in silence.

"Tell me one of those stories Professor Dumbledore seems to think remains untold," she says through a bite of sausage roll. "Something completely mad."

He pauses for a moment, not because he cannot think of anything, but only because there are so many stories to tell. He has not told her about Remus or being an Animagus. He has not told her about the Whomping Willow and their close call with Snape, or any other number of pranks, fights, and detentions he experienced at Hogwarts. He searches for just the right memory to share, until it suddenly occurs to him: sixth year exams.

Leaning back, he begins.

"At the end of sixth year, I was down here studying for Arithmancy. It was well past midnight when you came sneaking back in."

"I did not!" she exclaims, but she was smiling. "You said I was the picture of a perfect prefect."

"You were, but you did," he nodded. "You had been cramming for Astronomy. We were both exhausted and had a good row." He pauses to fill his plate. "I'm surprised we didn't wake anyone up."

"That doesn't sound all that unusual, from what you've told me," she points out. "What's the twist?"

James laughs. "You knew there had to be one, didn't you? We snuck out—well, I dragged you out, practically kicking and screaming. I decided that you needed to relax and I needed a break, so we raided the kitchens and took some food out to the lake. We sat there all night talking—once we stopped yelling at each other, of course—and fell asleep under the beech tree. Hagrid woke us up the next morning and promised he wouldn't tell Dumbledore."

"I wish I remembered something like that," she says, sounding wistful. "It doesn't sound that mad, though."

"Well," says James. "We both came down with Glimmergroit and had glowing spots for a week." He coughs, remembering the rumors. "It was a bit scandalous."

"Let me guess—I didn't talk to you for the rest of term?" she guesses.

"See, you're not so different," he teases back. "Of course you didn't. The fights got so bad that we finally hexed each other into the Hospital Wing. McGonagall dragged us up to Dumbledore's office. I told him we had pulled a prank on you, and you were still furious at us. He must have suspected something, though, because he still sent me the Head Boy badge over the summer."

Lily shakes her head. "From all the stories I've heard about you and your friends, I still can't believe he did that."

"Neither could I," James says. "And you were furious, even though we had had a perfectly nice night—and even though I had stuck up for you." He shrugs. "I think I turned out okay, though."

Lily leans over to kiss him. "I'd say so, but then, what do I know?"

He takes her hand and traces circles across the back. "We had a picnic under the tree that night," he murmurs. "I really wanted to do this out there, but the weather obviously isn't cooperating."

"That's okay," says Lily, glancing outside at the storm. "This is much nicer anyway. It's cozy."

"Could you take out the pumpkin pasties? And some more napkins?" James asks, sitting back and watching. She reaches into the picnic basket but comes out with something unexpected: a cloth napkin rolled into a sparkling diamond ring. She stares at it, her mouth slightly open, her eyes wide.

"James, what's this?" she finally asks, holding out the napkin with the ring attached to it.

James reaches across and takes it from her with a sly smile. "It's for you, of course," he says. He takes her hand and holds out the ring. "Lily, I started falling in love with you years ago. I thought I'd lost you, but by some magical miracle I found you – different, yet still the same. I want to spend the rest of my life with you."

"James, I—" she starts.

"Will you marry me?"

She simply stares at him. She is quiet for so long that James begins to think he made a terrible mistake, that he's finally pushed her too far, too fast. He can hear his heart thumping loudly in his chest and is certain she can as well. After a painful wait, James finally places her hand back in her lap with a sad smile.

"I'm sorry. It's too soon. I should have waited, this is a big decision for you after everything that has happened—"

She silences him with a kiss so fierce and passionate it takes his breath away. He can barely respond to her sudden emotion, and after an equally intense response, he pulls back, breathless and confused.

"Lily, I—" he starts again.

This time she stops him with a finger to his lips. She runs her other hand through her hair; he almost laughs, for she hated him doing that at Hogwarts, but has now picked up his nervous habit for her own. Finally she nods and turns toward him, green eyes very serious.

"I'm not saying no," she finally says. "But I'm not saying yes. Not yet."

"I don't understand," says James.

"You're right," she replies. "It's so much, so soon. I just want to be sure I'm not saying yes for the wrong reasons."

"What wrong reasons?" he asks, still not understanding.

"You," she replies softly.

James snorts. "Thanks. That makes sense."

"It does to me," she says defensively. "I don't want to marry you because _you_were the one who found me, remembered me, showed me my past. I think I'm stronger than that." She pauses. "I want to get married because I love you."

"Do you?" he asks.

"Yes," she replies without hesitation. He sees the surprise in her eyes.

"Then what's the problem?" He holds out the ring again. "You're not marrying a knight in shining armor, I assure you."

Lily laughs. "Not after everything I've seen and heard today, that's for sure." She stops and gazes at him. "Do you think it was fate?" she asks softly. "Fate that lead us to the Leaky Cauldron that day?"

"Absolutely," he says. "I do."

She is quiet again, but soon begins to smile. "Then who am I to put off fate?" she asks, taking the ring and placing it on her fourth finger. "Yes."

"Yes?" he repeats, his voice rising with uncertainty. He hardly dares to believe.

"Yes, I will marry you," she says.

"Really?" he asks. "You're sure?"

"Really," she replies, her lips next to his. He grins.

"Lily Evans, you have no idea what you've just got yourself into," he says, remembering their first trip to Diagon Alley so many months ago.

"This time I think I do, James," she whispers with a kiss. And he hopes that for all that she has lost, something new has now been found.

* * *

End Notes:

Thank you so much to Lea/Muggle girl marauder for once again being my alpha-beta and helping me with this final chapter! She has been so supportive of this story I couldn't have done it without her.  
And to Carole/EquinoxChick for her Britpicking, although there are probably a few I didn't run by her in the second half. And to Lori/Weasleymom for helping with the final line!  
I do hope you've enjoyed this short story. Thank you for all the lovely reviews! This is where I always planned to take it and how I wanted to finish it. But there are always more James/Lily stories to be told. They are engaged, after all... ;)


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